Most Exciting Movies of Summer 2009: Honorable Mentions

With the summer coming to a close and the school year back in full force, I return to my post on my school newspaper, the ASU Herald. This year I am the Arts & Features Editor, and my first article, the Five Most Exciting and Disappointing Movies of Summer 2009, will appear in this Thursday’s issue (08/26/09). Unfortunately, I feel that there were more than just five movies that deserved to be on the list of most exciting movies. So in this blog entry, I will give you my honorable mentions, or the movies which I still believe you should go see, but didn’t quite make the top five cut. These entries are in no particular order, because I believe I strained myself enough just coming up with a top five.

Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince.

I don’t believe I have heard more mixed reviews over the summer than for this movie, but I must say that I thought it was very well directed and translated from a book to a film. Many people complain, “They left out this, they left out that,” and my response is, “It was a 600 page book, did you expect them to keep everything?” I believe the film achieved what it had to. It got the basic plot across, it developed character relationships, and it depicted one of the most upsetting deaths in fiction history very eloquently. So to those book readers who feel that this film was not up to par, you may need to reevaluate.

The Hangover

Road trip films have been popular over the years, but in the Hangover, a road trip and a bachelor party are all rolled into one, and oh does the hilarity ensue. Four best friends travel to Vegas to have a wild night of fun but Alan (Zach Galifanakis) slips the remaining friends roofies (the date/rape drug) and they have a night of fun that the following morning none of them can remember. One thing goes horribly wrong though, the husband to be is missing, and so sets up the premise of the movie. This movie is vulgar fast paced and hilarious, and I can not wait for it to be released on Blu Ray.

Ponyo on the Cliff by the Sea

This rather obscure film is brought to us by Hayao Miyazaki, and if you don’t know who that is, you need to. Miyazaki is the Japanese equivalent to Walt-Disney, and his animated films are fantastic. This latest film tells the story of Ponyo, a magical fish-girl who has a desire to see more of the world but is forbidden to by her father. This movie has a unique plot line like many of Miyazaki’s movies do. If you have never heard  of any of his films many of them are fantastic and easily available such as Spirited Away, Nausicaa of the Valley of the Wing, Princess Mononoke and Howl’s Moving Castle.

Now remember, these are just my honorable mentions, if your favorite movie of the summer isn’t on this list, then you may want to pick up a copy of the Herald on Thursday! Thanks you for reading and all of your comments are welcome!

Steve-O Booted from ‘Dancing with the Stars’

I guess this is newsworthy, says a lot about my blog. Recently one of Jackass’s lead men, Steve-O, participated in Dancing with the Stars. He was booted off after his rumba this week, I am sorry world that you can no longer see Steve-O dance, I am sorry.

Kanye Responds to South Park Episode!

So below is Kanye West’s response to “Fishsticks” and his egomaniacal portrayal on the show. His response wasn’t as egotistic as some might expect, and that gets some applause from me. Maybe Kanye is actually calming down, and for some reason, I don’t know whether that is good or bad.

SOUTH PARK MURDERED ME LAST NIGHT AND IT’S PRETTY FUNNY. IT HURTS MY FEELINGS BUT WHAT CAN YOU EXPECT FROM SOUTH PARK! I ACTUALLY HAVE BEEN WORKING ON MY EGO THOUGH. HAVING THE CRAZY EGO IS PLAYED OUT AT THIS POINT IN MY LIFE AND CAREER. I USE TO USE IT TO BUILD UP MY ESTEEM WHEN NOBODY BELIEVED IN ME. NOW THAT PEOPLE DO BELIEVE AND SUPPORT MY MUSIC AND PRODUCTS THE BEST RESPONSE IS THANK YOU INSTEAD OF “I TOLD YOU SO!!!” IT’S COOL TO TALK SHIT WHEN YOU’RE RAPPING BUT NOT IN REAL LIFE. WHEN YOU MEET LITTLE WAYNE IN PERSON HE’S THE NICEST GUY FOR EXAMPLE. I JUST WANNA BE A DOPER PERSON WHICH STARTS WITH ME NOT ALWAYS TELLING PEOPLE HOW DOPE I THINK I AM. I NEED TO JUST GET PAST MYSELF. DROP THE BRAVADO AND JUST MAKE DOPE PRODUCT. EVERYTHING IS NOT THAT SERIOUS. AS LONG AS PEOPLE THINK I ACT LIKE A BITCH THIS TYPE OF SHIT WILL HAPPEN TO ME. I GOT A LONG ROAD AHEAD OF ME TO MAKE PEOPLE BELIEVE I’M NOT ACTUALLY A HUGE DOUCHE BUT I’M UP FOR THE CHALLENGE. I’M SURE THE WRITERS AT SOUTH PARK ARE REALLY NICE PEOPLE IN REAL LIFE. THANKS FOR TAKING THE TIME TO DRAW MY CREW. THAT WAS PRETTY FUNNY ALSO!! I’M SURE THERE’S GRAMMATICAL ERRORS IN THIS… THAT’S HOW YOU KNOW IT’S ME!

Kanye is a Gay Fish

Fishsticks Yo! Fishsticks!

I have talked about Kanye in my blog articles, and I have talked about South Park in my articles, but never did I believe I would be able to talk about both in the same article.

With this weeks episode of South Park titled “Fishsticks”, local handicapped South Park comedian Jimmy thinks up the funniest joke of all time.

The joke goes as follows:
“Hey there (insert name). Do you like fishsticks? Oh, you do, so you like putting fishsticks in your mouth? So what are you, a gay fish?”

The joke sweeps the nation and is on various talk shows and everyone in the world thinks it is the funniest joke ever, everyone except Kanye West, who apparently doesn’t get it.

In the episode Carlos Mencia takes credit for the joke and is abruptly kidnapped and beaten to death by Kanye who wants Mencia to explain the joke, and a bloody Mencia replies to Kanye’s question of “Why do people think I am a gay fish?” by saying “Because you like fishsticks….Just get it man…please, just get it.”

After finding out that the real perpetrators behind the joke are Jimmy and Eric Cartman (who is also taking false credit), Kanye flies to South Park and confronts the two boys. In this confrontation Kanye has an epiphany about his ego, and still not getting the joke, just accepts the fact that he is a gay fish, and makes his way to the ocean to embrace his true self, which is depicted below. Until next time! Enjoy!

Terry “Harmonica” Bean

I love all types of music, plain and simple, I used to say that the one genre of music I didn’t like was country, well, I guess I lied. Blues music has long been one of my favorites, and one offshoot of blues music are the “country” blues, so I guess I have to like country music now.

On April 4, blues musicians, including Terry “Harmonica” Bean visited ASU and performed outside of the Student Union, below is a video of Bean.

Queefing isn’t cool..

Queef may not be a word known to many of us, but with last nights episode of South Park, Matt Stone and Trey Parker gave  the word its true definition. Using their over-the-top antics once again to describe something so disgusting (yes I think it is disgusting because I am a guy) as a queef is beyond comprehension.

This episode revolves around women “queefing”, and if you don’t know what that is go to google and type in “queef definition” (yes it will give you the definition). This causes a huge uproar in the male community who find it to be the most disgusting thing ever (and rightfully so), and their antics used in order to get a congressional ban on queefing.

If based on a 1-10 scale,  I would give this episode a strong 9 based on the appearance of Martha Stewart and her “decortation” of queefs, and a woman congressman who is able to queef out a quote from Road Warrior.

Welcome to Heartbreak

As everyone knows by now (Or should know anyway), Kanye West is the man in my opinion. His album 808’s and Heartbreak has been in my CD player consistently since its release on November 24th of last year.

West recently released his third video from this album, which is the single “Welcome to Heartbreak.” I have embedded the video below and encourage all of you to watch it. And don’t think that something is wrong with your computer screen, that is just the way the video is made. Freaky isn’t it?

This song actually isn’t the next single from the CD, but the video was rushed because of a similar video that is being released by another artist. The next single from the album is by far my favorite. It is title “Amazing” and features Young Jeezy.

South Park returns for lucky number 13

Cartman stalks through the night as.... The Coon!

I have a select number of shows I watch, not because I only like certain things, but because that is all my schedule allows. I hold down two jobs if you include me being the online editor for my school newspaper, and I attend college 12 hours a week. Now I know some people may have tighter schedules than that, and hats off to you, but I feel stressed out enough as it is.

So the shows I watch on a regular basis are as follows; House, M.D., Lost, Fringe, Eastbound and Down, and South Park. The focus of this article will be on the final show on that list, South Park.

South Park is by far one of my favorite shows of all time, and with the return of South Park I am one of the happiest college students ever. Last Wednesday, the 11th, was the first episode of the new season of South Park, and was titled “The Ring”.

In this episode, Kenny has a girlfriend who is absolutely in love with the Jonas Brothers, after attending a concert in which they receive purity rings, Kenny becomes a complete bore and stops hanging out with his friends, and just watches Netflix and Grey’s Anatomy.

About halfway through this episode, we find out that the mastermind behind the Jonas brothers is none other than Mickey Mouse, and he is using the Jonas Brothers to sell sex to little girls, but is using the purity rings as a loop hole.

This was a pretty good season debut for South Park, but wasn’t at the top of the list of season debuts.

The second episode in the season, and one which I thought was far more funny, aired last night (18th), and was entitled “The Coon”.

Eric Cartman dons a separate night time superhero persona and as such, talks in the lozenge-needing throaty voice of Batman.

Cartman spends the majority of the episode promoting himself more than fighting crime, and is eventually passed by another anonymous super hero of the night, Mysterion.

Hilarity ensues and the episode comes to a worthwhile ending. I am 100% sure that the rest of this season of South Park will be just as funny, because the creators have not let me down yet. Make sure to stay tuned for new episodes of South Park that air every Wednesday night at 9 p.m. Central Time.

Radioactive Blue Penis

So I was able to go and see Watchmen over the weekend and my end result is: Disappointment. Now, don’t read too much into that word, it just wasn’t near as good as I expected. The movie, which I talk about in my previous article, is based upon a graphic novel of  the same name. The world which is depicted is basically an alternate reality to our own, it takes place during the 80s where costumed heroes seem to be common place, and someone is attempting to kill them. The main plot point in this movie as that nuclear war is about to break out between the United States and Russia, and the only thing holding back Russia from launching their nuclear attack is the superbeing Doctor Manhattan.

Now this movie had some great scenes in it, especially the ones involving Rorschach and Doctor Manhattan, but at just under three hours, the movie sometimes seemed to drag on. The movie had a lot of sex scenes in it, which I am not that big a fan of, and it also featured a completely naked Doctor Manhattan (who is a bright blue color I might add) throughout the whole of the movie. Now I know every gets a kick out of a radiocative blue penis, but having three of them on the screen simultaneously is just overkill.

I do suggest that everyone that reads  this blog go and see the movie, because it is a theatre worthy movie, it just didn’t live up to the hype.

They are watching you.

The new movie based on the supposed unfilmable graphic novel the Watchmen is going to be released on Friday to what I hope will be critical praise.

The graphic novel itself is one of the most highly celebrated of all time. The novel begins with the murder of retired superhero “The Comedian.” After investigating the death of his fellow superhero, an ever-shifting ink blot mask wearing superhero named Rorschach finds out that their is actually a conspiracy to eliminate costumed superheroes.

The movie follows this same basic plot however, with all of the superheroes from the original comic included. Owl-gadget wearing superhero Nite Owl, the forementioned Rorschach, Ozymandias, the lone female the Silk Spectre, and of course, the blue-tinted Quantum-Physic using super being Doctor Manhattan.

The film has already been reviewed by 29 professionals, with 23 of them giving the movie positive reviews, that’s 79% positive reviews. This number, I hope, will increase and this movie will….be…..awesome.